Sunday, December 16, 2007

I'm buying a TV

Want me to get you anything?” is the common refrain this time of the year. Yes, people, its party season again. The time of the year when all the phoren returned come and over-populate every watering hole in town, but really, add to the air-kissing quotient of social Delhi. How I have come to despise it. How I lie.

My answer? “Any spare antibodies?” Not to be alarmist. Or anything. I’m actually a little ill. Nothing antibiotics can’t cure, don’t worry. I’m just laid up in bed (for the most part) and wishing I had a TV in my room. All those stupid plans to actually READ when in my own room just seem far stupider when you don’t have the energy to do so. Instead, seasons upon seasons of Buffy lie in front of you, dusty from the Montreal days, taunting you. Grrr. Argh.

But when one does manage to make their way across to the TV room, one finds a treat. Thank you Soniaben and Modi of the maut ka saudagarfame. You guys have made the past week so effortless. You see, besides the antibodies coming to an end (again, not to be alarmist. or anything) I have also been ending my relationship with The Indian Express. (Again. Not be to alarmist. Or anything). Just that I have a new job now. To start in Jan. With Vir Sanghvi’s new soon-to-launched news channel. But more on how I will waste their time and money later. Let's get back to this sibling rivalry going on in The Gujarat.

One result of the verbal kabbadi going on has been that people have been asking me what’s up with the Congress back-tracking on the maut ka saudagarcomment. Beats me. It really couldn’t be that the Congress has no balls. (Pardon my French). And then they ask, so what do you prefer, the Congress or BJP? Is this my choice, I wonder. That explains my new-found love for Gossip Girls.

But really, I want to come back to the question. When choosing what party you vote for, one assumes, if you are me and have no caste/religious affiliations to speak off, then what is it? Education, vision, perhaps a little something called accountability. It’s when you admit your mistake and are prepared for the consequen… oh forget it. I don’t want to ruin the surprise. So, it makes me (and other friends) wonder, we might be the educated minority here, but don’t we also have a right to be represented?

I heard recently, from the author of yet another book about the rise of modern India, that the people in India who don’t vote are happy people. Makes sense. And so, when I had some of these so-called-happy people sitting in a room with me on a Wednesday night (consider how happy; of six people touting whisky glasses, three were touting iphones. ((That one was stolen at the end of the night is a whole different story!))) Back to the happy people -- before said robbery -- I asked them if Gujarat mattered to them, really. If state elections even matter. The boys told me state elections mattered to them more than national elections, unfortunately, because all their factories are in UP, they can’t vote. Being from Delhi and all that. And so, they were stuck in this incredible cycle of not knowing what the hell to do, except grease a palm. Or get a full generator for their factory.

Let me not start giving my two cents about the power industry. I know very little but I did manage to – in part – transcribe an entire bureaucratic conference about why the industry is not getting privatized in order to have more power in the country on the whole and have now learnt a lot. *Phew* Let’s just say, too many tapes. Many of them red and complicated. Take from that what you will.

So, let me see. First, no one is getting me any antibodies for Christmas. Just my doctor getting me antibiotics. Spoilsport. Second, The Gujarat and Gossip Girl are competing with each other in entertainment quota. Mostly cause all the characters BS. Third, I have no party which has the same values as me so I wouldn’t know who to vote for. Fourth, and if I don’t vote, it’s either because a) I’m happy or b) I’m a resident of a state where my residence gets electricity (so, yes, happy) but I’m not really happy because my factory doesn’t, but since I got land and perhaps some incentive to set up there, but no vote, I don’t/can’t. (Yes, long thoughts result in long sentences. And I realise it's not a strictly either/or situation going on but it makes some kinda sense. Go read it again, you confused b******). And Fifth, the power industry has issues. (As do I, I’m sure you can tell).

Happy holidays everybody – I’m sure you need to get back to the air-kissing. You know, this whole phoren clothes in phancy malls has really taken the wind out of the sails of phoren-dressed peoples who would come back for holidays in their phancy clothes. Who needs Bond Street when you have Citiwalk? And seriously, you’d bump into the same people anyway. And oh yes, even more than that very random thought, what has really kept the blood circulating is self obsessed little Prakash Karat, first saying to the media that if the government continues with this IAEA nonsense, it will have to face elections, and then blaming the media for, seriously dude, blowing it out of proportion. He never said that, no matter what the tapes show. C’mon now.

Turn the damn TV off. Except when I join the new channel. Oh, also except when Gossip Girls is on. And maybe Friends re-runs. Or if you happen to see Times Now’s great documentary (?) on the history of news in which it has great footage from the DD years. And if you catch Arrested Development on. And… oh hell. Keep the TV on. I’m getting one for my room now.

Ta. You know you love me.


Nirvikar said...

Hey Mahima,

Get well soon!!! May be it's the change of weather. Now, coming back to your blog, You actually made me laugh coz u gave it such a lovely blend of sarcasm to the air- kissing done these days as a virtue of necessity(I alwaysn Get confused whether its the left cheek first or the Right).

May be the people who dont vote might be happy ,can be two reasons either they dont have much expectations from the political parties or the leaders in fray or are just not intrested in elections, as long as they manage their work by greasing palms,but i just hope the these" happy people" remain to a negligible few.

There is a drastic change which is happening in our democratic setup there seems to be a distinct shift from national to regional politics in other words regional parties have started playing a vital role in the formation of the Government at the centre. Over the last so many coliation governments there are certaion regional leaders which hold the Govt to ransom, in the last govt it was Chandrababu Naidu with his 30 odd MPs or Karunannidhi in the present one, but what is happening is that the National perspective is getting lost to the regional one's.I guess this is the reason one of those six boys commented that for him regional politics is of a much greater importance than the national one.This is needs to change , there has to be a perfect blend of national and regional interest.
Yeah ,honestly the TV channels have gone a little overboard with this "Maut ke Saudagar" issue every evening u either see Kapil Sibal or Arun Jaitely on the dias yelling at each other and Barkha Dutt smiling , Dont we know its election time , dont we know whats the reality of Indian Politics?

IR said...

dont worry about narendra bhai sonia bhen or the power crises, if these issues get resolved our only entertainment will be from the re-run of friends !

congrats on the new job, do we see you on tv ?!
happy holidays
get well soon

mahima said...

Nirvikar, you actually made sense of my non-sense... ! But yea, that was the one thing we kept harping on... with regional politics so important, what about the ones who dont have a say even when they have interests...
And the made for TV dramarama...

Ir, yup I will be on TV. I'll let you guys know when it all comes together. Mid Feb is what I hear right now

Happy holidays guys! I'm much better today so think I might end up enjoying this two week break I have!! :-)

Anonymous said...

Since I have moved to Pune, I have forgotten how bad the power-situation used to be in Noida.

Anyway, good luck with the new job, and hope you get well in time for a couple of parties to bring in the New Year!

egg style said...

First: no microbe etc can possibly subdue anyone who can write [n read] such irrepressible stuff, and so too many antibiotics etc will certainly not be needed for you to get well. A TV set, maybe (“stay tun.n.n.ed”, as they say).

Fifth: on such issues, am reminded of the quip that India has no web surfer, just sufferer, or to go even more desi, surr-a-furr, and this is for you to blame on Bijli and (now favourite) Band width, which the knowledge economy can’t do without, and is worrying a lot of people who may/mayn't vote.

Saurabh said...

Get well soon... am one of the phoren based people who do head to the watering holes in Delhi, but am coming this time to stay... From south ken to south delhi, such joy!

Nirvikar said...

The Verdict Is Out

Well , Modi has done it again!!!
we have to give him credit for getting his third term. The people of Gujrat have given their verdict and he is definetly here to stay.
I'm a little confused about him now to be very honest, at the very outset let me elaborate that in no way i'm justifying the 2002 carnage however as our's is a democratic setup the people's verdict is the sacred "Agni Pariksha" in a democratic country,how do u write him off?
This Gujrat election was the most hyped, the most written about,the most intreseting state elections in recent times having an impact at the national level. so many pundits gave their opinions and forecasts against Modi, but........
I have the oppurtunity to hear his speeches during official confrences,u have to give it to him, he thinks out of the box has his facts correct and is very decisive adminstratively.But But But can we forgive him for his being the architect of 2002 genocide in Gujrat and make him the torchbearer for the future of India at the national level? It has to be seen the so called development card ,has it been played only on religious lines and demography or it cuts across to all religions? well the verdict of Gujrat raises one question, are we as people truly Secular?

egg style said...

X'Mas boosters or not, here's hoping Easter has more for you to YouTube (favourite noun-turned-verb of the year)

Madiha said...


CresceNet said...

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