Sunday, December 16, 2007

I'm buying a TV

Want me to get you anything?” is the common refrain this time of the year. Yes, people, its party season again. The time of the year when all the phoren returned come and over-populate every watering hole in town, but really, add to the air-kissing quotient of social Delhi. How I have come to despise it. How I lie.

My answer? “Any spare antibodies?” Not to be alarmist. Or anything. I’m actually a little ill. Nothing antibiotics can’t cure, don’t worry. I’m just laid up in bed (for the most part) and wishing I had a TV in my room. All those stupid plans to actually READ when in my own room just seem far stupider when you don’t have the energy to do so. Instead, seasons upon seasons of Buffy lie in front of you, dusty from the Montreal days, taunting you. Grrr. Argh.

But when one does manage to make their way across to the TV room, one finds a treat. Thank you Soniaben and Modi of the maut ka saudagarfame. You guys have made the past week so effortless. You see, besides the antibodies coming to an end (again, not to be alarmist. or anything) I have also been ending my relationship with The Indian Express. (Again. Not be to alarmist. Or anything). Just that I have a new job now. To start in Jan. With Vir Sanghvi’s new soon-to-launched news channel. But more on how I will waste their time and money later. Let's get back to this sibling rivalry going on in The Gujarat.

One result of the verbal kabbadi going on has been that people have been asking me what’s up with the Congress back-tracking on the maut ka saudagarcomment. Beats me. It really couldn’t be that the Congress has no balls. (Pardon my French). And then they ask, so what do you prefer, the Congress or BJP? Is this my choice, I wonder. That explains my new-found love for Gossip Girls.

But really, I want to come back to the question. When choosing what party you vote for, one assumes, if you are me and have no caste/religious affiliations to speak off, then what is it? Education, vision, perhaps a little something called accountability. It’s when you admit your mistake and are prepared for the consequen… oh forget it. I don’t want to ruin the surprise. So, it makes me (and other friends) wonder, we might be the educated minority here, but don’t we also have a right to be represented?

I heard recently, from the author of yet another book about the rise of modern India, that the people in India who don’t vote are happy people. Makes sense. And so, when I had some of these so-called-happy people sitting in a room with me on a Wednesday night (consider how happy; of six people touting whisky glasses, three were touting iphones. ((That one was stolen at the end of the night is a whole different story!))) Back to the happy people -- before said robbery -- I asked them if Gujarat mattered to them, really. If state elections even matter. The boys told me state elections mattered to them more than national elections, unfortunately, because all their factories are in UP, they can’t vote. Being from Delhi and all that. And so, they were stuck in this incredible cycle of not knowing what the hell to do, except grease a palm. Or get a full generator for their factory.

Let me not start giving my two cents about the power industry. I know very little but I did manage to – in part – transcribe an entire bureaucratic conference about why the industry is not getting privatized in order to have more power in the country on the whole and have now learnt a lot. *Phew* Let’s just say, too many tapes. Many of them red and complicated. Take from that what you will.

So, let me see. First, no one is getting me any antibodies for Christmas. Just my doctor getting me antibiotics. Spoilsport. Second, The Gujarat and Gossip Girl are competing with each other in entertainment quota. Mostly cause all the characters BS. Third, I have no party which has the same values as me so I wouldn’t know who to vote for. Fourth, and if I don’t vote, it’s either because a) I’m happy or b) I’m a resident of a state where my residence gets electricity (so, yes, happy) but I’m not really happy because my factory doesn’t, but since I got land and perhaps some incentive to set up there, but no vote, I don’t/can’t. (Yes, long thoughts result in long sentences. And I realise it's not a strictly either/or situation going on but it makes some kinda sense. Go read it again, you confused b******). And Fifth, the power industry has issues. (As do I, I’m sure you can tell).

Happy holidays everybody – I’m sure you need to get back to the air-kissing. You know, this whole phoren clothes in phancy malls has really taken the wind out of the sails of phoren-dressed peoples who would come back for holidays in their phancy clothes. Who needs Bond Street when you have Citiwalk? And seriously, you’d bump into the same people anyway. And oh yes, even more than that very random thought, what has really kept the blood circulating is self obsessed little Prakash Karat, first saying to the media that if the government continues with this IAEA nonsense, it will have to face elections, and then blaming the media for, seriously dude, blowing it out of proportion. He never said that, no matter what the tapes show. C’mon now.

Turn the damn TV off. Except when I join the new channel. Oh, also except when Gossip Girls is on. And maybe Friends re-runs. Or if you happen to see Times Now’s great documentary (?) on the history of news in which it has great footage from the DD years. And if you catch Arrested Development on. And… oh hell. Keep the TV on. I’m getting one for my room now.

Ta. You know you love me.