Friday, September 08, 2006

So many questions, such little time...

Ignore the last few things I said- I was just trying to be polite. As a shout-out, I went to this thing called ‘astrology café’ or something and it told me many things I wanted to hear but it didn’t move my life along… so I’m thinking… alright then. I’ll smile for the camera.

Okay. So, KARMA. Now according to me it was a simple concept: you do something bad, something bad happens to you. Seriously, the whole past life thing did not appeal to me. But the past few days have made me have conversations that may not have changed my mind… but they made me think. Now, if you believe in past lives [or just do.. for the next few minutes] this is how it *could* work: what happens to you is a result of your actions in your past life. Now, it doesn’t mean that if you were a great person then- only great things will happen to you. Au contraire mon amis, it means [much like physics] every action has an equal and opposite reaction. So the fact that you can deal with the bad things that happen is because you did something good and now you are given the tools to deal with the bad. And you might think, ‘this is BS’ but you are probably missing the bigger picture. To be able to deal is not easy: and this is your reward.

Alright. Fair enough. If you ask me what happens after death or before life as we know it- I have one thing to say, nothing. I don’t know. But this is how I see my life: and remember I’m just 23 [and I know some of you psychos think that’s very old but clearly you don’t appreciate how much better it’s going to get].. As far as I know- this is the only life I know. I don’t need the threat of karma to make me behave better. I think I might try anyway. But then I was asked all these questions: how do you explain why you were born in a happy/ successful/ etc family and someone else was born blind? I said 1) I don’t- cause why do I need to justify every single thing- good or bad, and 2) And if I try to explain it through karma, should I not feel bad for anyone with a disability because they deserved it from their past life OR a mahima translation…. The worst hangover EVER?!

I don’t know if we need to explain everything. Its hard enough figuring out the actions of *now*. I find it tough to switch onto any piece of news and then think, it’s my fate. Or my country’s. Or any other random shit you throw my way.

The difference between spirituality and religion? According to me: Religion teaches you HOW and WHERE to pray. But as I’m told, spirituality is about the inner self. It’s making peace with yourself; learning to look inwards to answer the big questions about life.

What if I don’t need to look inwards? To be very candid: when something goes my way, I look up and say thanks for that. I do. And when things go bad, normally, I figure out why I deserved it and I say, I get it, next time I’ll make sure I deserve better. And according to me, without the religion and the karma and the spirituality, I made peace with myself.

But I have to ask: what was my explanation before I learn to *make peace with myself*? I am really not the most calm person or the one with the answers- at all. But I constantly have to ask, the theories and the prayers, are they essentially the same crutch I use- but named differently which allows me to keep my distance. Once you name something, it has a power over you. If still undefined, you control it because you can keep redefining it.

I should sleep now.

What do you think of it all?

7 comments:

Ruchika said...

I think lots of things! (it IS a thought-provoking post!)

To begin with - We are all conditioned to constantly justify our actions, reason and rationalise about what happened, good or bad.. its conscience, and its necessary.. becoz u dont want to be bad.. ok, let not the sword of 'karma' hang over our heads, but do we really want to hurt other people by our actiosn and words, do we really want to be hateful, deceitful, selfish, corrupt? Maybe our circumstances drive us there, but what the heck, if we didnt have a conscience, then the world would be far far worse than it already is!!

Another thing we should understand is that we should try to find the reason why certain concepts were developed.. it was to have some order in society, some guidelines of 'the good way of living', just like we have an MBA for being a 'good manager', or training in corporate excellence etc.. the 'rule-book' don't transform u overnite (hell, MBA gives u a good job, but doesnt always make u a good manager), but it does give u guidelines as to how things should be.. whether u use it at all, or use it according to the 'book' is one's own concern...

I come from a family which is not ritualistic and dogmatic, and we like to discuss and question and then apply the teachings.. we discard that which does not appeal to the intellect/heart, yet I think we empathise why these 'rules' were invented..

Hehehe.. you may think this comment is full of too many thoughts, random ones too... but its just a spontaneous response to your post.. I liked it, and it made me question, but I guess I've already made my peace!

Aye Davanita said...

I like this post. The most "revealing" thus far, less spectacular but more important - clearly. There is nothing to agree or disagree with so I'll simply add.

I look upon my folks and see them no longer as little-finger-holding, omnipotent, omniscient beings, rather as human as they come. So its life they have over me now. In a quickly thinning generation spread, they are 2 generations older and have seen the long and short ends of all sorts of sticks. I look at myself as a shadow of my father, but he is far more religious than I am. Why? Has his experience, his life, shown him too many coincidences? Miracles? Seen his hopes and dreams sometimes come crashing down and sometimes come true? Have my folks seen more to add to their "belief"? Have they worried for someone beyond themselves, incomparable to "relatives" - us?

Their kids. Thats it. To hold your child for the first time and instantly be vulnerable, a silent and understood vow to protect with your own life if you must -your offspring. Superstitions, jinxes, hexes - suddenly don't seem illogically distant concepts because none of these were originally categorized as "illogical" without that shadow of doubt. And something as important as my brother and I to my parents isn't worth the risk of that 0.00008% of any truth to them.

I'm not deeply religious, but am of the view that over time I may become that way (subjective of course). You grow, evolve and adapt to things as you see them fit -and it becomes respectable because in its own selfish way - its a devotion to someone else.

As always, this too becomes a means to an end. Its difficult to imagine that life will get any easier, less complicated or more fulfilling. And in the end, as you approach zero, you want it all to be worthwhile -introspection kicks in, and you realize everything you did in the last 20 years of your 90-year life was in preparation for this moment. All of that, so you can laugh out loud with pleasure one last time, as the people around you are crying tears of inevitability.

Aye Davanita said...

Side note: interesting that your post triggerred this response from me.

mahima said...

You know whats even more interesting?! The fact that you said this was the most revealing so far.... and it the only one I wrote when under the influence !! Madness!

Aye Davanita said...

how does it feel? To think something in a perceived state of reality and then question and discard it in another? Ambiguity in and doubt of -yourself. The extreme devil's advocate. Scary, yet strangely liberating isn't it? Makes you feel alive.

Anonymous said...

the law of karma,which is one of the most profound and fiendishly perplexing of reality's axion, is as you pointed out radiant one..the law of cause and effect.
the oldest upnishad expresses it thus"truly one becomes good by good action and bab by bad action"...better known to the west as newtons 3rd.the mandate of this succintly complex law regulates the potentially limitless implications of every act performed by every actor within the manifested universe,meteor ans microorgasim alike.everyone lives within the precints of this law,whether or not they accept its reality.ignorance is no defense in the court of cause and effect!
every physical and mental action you perform and wiyh which you self identify yourself as a coer becomes a karm for you and produces a reaction which you will eventually have to experience.

Anonymous said...

i never believed in religion.religions are all limited cause they concentrate only on one aspect of the truth..thats why they always fighting believing that they alone are in possesion of 'the truth'!...but there is no end to knowledge and no use in trying to confine it to one book or scripture or expierence..burn down everything getting in the way of your perception of the trurh...enough spiritual musings for me...have go and learn to behave!!!!