Tuesday, January 10, 2006

When Dolphins Cry.. (II)

I'm fascinated with the concept of fate. I've had long conversations about God and religion. My take is that I do believe in 'God' just not in organized religion. The idea that this planet is a 'design' of God is something I cannot wrap my head around, but I'd like to think that abstract concepts such as fate and destiny are mixed up with the very real concepts of how we live our lives.

I'd gone to a Tarot Card reader in New York with some friends in April (2005)or so. At the time I'd had no questions for the guy since I knew I was coming to England to study and things seemed to make sense in my head. Career? Love? Relationships? I didn't have a single question cause I figured I'd find out as I went along. Still, he told me a few things which at the time seemed- real- but abstract. In a few months, it all made the sort of sense that's scary. I'm in Delhi at the moment and I'm very tempted to go get my cards read again, but this time armed with questions. But the bigger questions lingers on... if I believe what I'm told as something that WILL come true, will I stop trying because I will expect it to happen? That in itself is the scariest thought to me-- I never want to feel that I cannot do something about my state of affairs, or even lose interest in my own life to the extent that I'm perfectly happy to let the universe deal my cards for me. That's my problem with the concept of fate or destiny... if you remove the romantic notions around them, they are escapist in nature. I've used fate as a rationalist argument when things have not gone my way... I don't like to beat myself about things no longer in my control. Is that good, is that bad? I do know that it helps me sleep better-- but I think the important part is to remember you have to wake up in the real world, and just keep going.

I was watching an ad on TV today about female infanticide. It makes me wonder how we can juxtapose two opposing thoughts with such ease in our madly religious country. Families have scores of children because they claim they are 'gifts' from God [although often you find the family is a string of girls that stops when the son is born] and on the other hand, this gift from God is taken so lightly that a girl child is killed for being just that, a girl. Where is the sense in that? I'm assuming this is not considered a gift at all then. So where is the balance? What is one to make of it?

Fate is such a tricky concept, it is applied as is convenient; and not just in larger issues. Any of us who lay things down to fate has used it to feel better or used it to psyche ourselves into getting something done. I personally believe that the universe has a quirky sense of humor, and as much as I look up at the stars when things go wrong... I do the same when things go right. Sometimes just thanking your good luck feels a million times better than cursing your bad luck, which by the way, doesn't seem so bad when you remember, and appreciate all the good times.

I googled myself to see if this blog turned up, and I found something I'd written on freshlimesoda.com when I was 17. I ended the article asking if I was meant to write it because it was fate, which led me back to the same question five years later. Or is this fate too??!! :)


rohinic said...

OMFG... you probably think this is sooo stalkerish... but i remember this article you wrote for the NV which had something about how lisa loeb's name is more interesting than her music and how you love the title "tears of pearls". the bareness of it really spoke to me- especially since i was a lonely A1, and music was pretty much the only source of entertainment. (at the time!)
also- i think it was totally (budding) avant-garde of you- i could relate to that kind of analogy so much better than the really personalized articles of isheeta etc. (they were great articles though!)

mahima said...

Ha ha... I wish I'd kept all the issues of NV I'd written in... but thats like over five yrs .. I'm sure the next time I head back I could pick some up.. But thanks babe .. nice to know I'm not the only one who reads my stuff!!!

asma said...

Mahima! I love your blog! haha, so here comes my first reply (which, btw, is so late only because it took me years to make a blog of my own!) !!
I know exactly what you're saying: even though I sometimes catch myself saying 'hey, maybe this is a blessing in disguise'- and there certainly have been instances which very well could be - I simply cannot fathom a system where I have no control over what happens to me, and what the future holds.. it just becomes too easy to discount things you should take responsibility for, and too convenient an excuse when things go the wrong way..
I also went to a tarot card reader the other day, very very skeptical of her ability, and determined not to ask about the future (which the bulk of my questions ended up revolving around). Anyhow, she told me stuff about me, generally, and then more specific stuff about relationships, career, you know, those things. and she was accurate the majority of the time.. but still, in the end (and i totally may not be giving her due credit)I came away thinking she's a really good judge of character, very therapeutic, and that she simply gauged my reaction (which you know are quite pronounced!), and then elaborated on the issue according to that. I don't know, I somehow find them to be self-fulfilling prophesies, where she only tells you good stuff about the future (which she does), and you're propelled onto that path simply because you believe that is the way its going to go regardless. you work towards it thinking you're supposed tobe working towards it. and I have nothing against it, infact I'm all for it, because if you think about it, all she is doing is helping people believe in themselves...

honest_fella said...

ok the concept of fate is pretty straight forward - it can coexist perfectly with free will and cannot reasonably be used as a consolation prize or as an excuse for failure.

fine, maybe we all fit into a bigger plan, a story laid out for us, and the world - a very plausable theory, one that could even coexist for our 'greater' beliefs in ourselves (we can do anything we set our minds to)

basically, fate to me could never imply one thing or the other.

attempt at hindu thought...
say someone is lucky and assume it is because he or she has good karma through actions, thoughts, whatever, and then assume that all the good luck you get after a certain age is because of karma in this life and that maybe the fate part just determines where you were born and how (earlier lives' karma)- and then you can easily control the rest of your life, but most people just dont.
so from a somewhat hindu perspective, for the most part you earn your luck, and if fate plays a role, it could just be that little bit in the beginning.